she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
