At least make sure they are 18
Why
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
