the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
