You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
