So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
