Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
