THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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