I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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