HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
