Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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