But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
