She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
