How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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