So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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