the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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