Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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