If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
this will be a night to untag.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
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