Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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