his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
