He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize