she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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