I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
