I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
