Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
