I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
