it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
