Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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