I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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