Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
