Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize