God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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