I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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