I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
