I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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