No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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