Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
