Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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