If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
