So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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