There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
