his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
