i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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