i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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