are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
