Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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