I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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