We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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