you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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