if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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