I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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