We won't sleep together?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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