When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
