so that wasnt chicken after all
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
