apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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