just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
