yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Randomize
