I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
