arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
