I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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