Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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